Tag Archives: MEN

‘Late’ is a word that is used on everything wedding related when a woman hits 30 and still single hence I used ‘Early’ in the title – truth is all sorts of myths abound but I have taken a few of them and demystified them in the most colloquial way possible – don’t fret about ultimatums and societal pressures – laugh it off with my take below

Women need to get married to be truly happy.

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubbles –  is that why dogs are so happy and wagging their tails all the time? so dogs are married? or someone just outrightly forgot the actual definition of Happy! Purlizz ! Happiness is defined as = Go fxxc yourself for even trying to give everyone a stoical definition

If you don’t get married before 30, it will be too late

Too late for who exactly – the only late thing that actually matters is where you will be when Jesus comes oh. No one should dictate your life by time or place unless they have their ID to prove that they are God – but God is not man, so take several seats dictators !

Women are better off financially if they settle down early.

I have never understood the correlation between settling down and an increase in your account – is settling down at some point meaning that you break even with life and money appears in your account? Una stop tiff

Successful women can’t also have successful marriages.

MYTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Look at Mrs OBAMA thanks !

Being married is more stable than just living together.

If living together is not working how will getting married resolve that? stop making people dig their graves please because if they jump in they’ll have to come back out and drag the sand in not us, I’m not ready for any funerals without weddings!

If you’ve slept with a lot of people, nobody will want to marry you.

hahahahhahahahhahahahhah _ ya’ll stop playing its called internship -you practice to be good at a job so if sleeping with people is something you are into –  go on but kindly use your intelligence  cos ”when a beautiful woman is not intelligent her private parts suffer” likewise if your thing is celibacy let it be your decision and stick to it

If you want kids, better be married first.

well if the skeletons waiting to get married will have breath back in them then I’ll say this can even pass for a white lie – fertility issues increase with age – not in every woman but if you find you may be vulnerable like that please seek medical opinion, freeze your eggs if you want to have kids later – kids they are your legacy – not the man! (My opinion, have them when you wake up in the morning and want them – that urge is almost always the motherhood in you calling – and guess what you will be amazinggggggg!!!!)

You’ll know you’ve met the “one” when you want to marry them.

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The best way to celebrate marriage is a fancy wedding.

Never look at the size of a wedding as a measure of success – that’s a big lie and charade. After that day unfortunately, the music stops the dancing and partying stops reality kicks in and shit hits the fan – you and your partner are the wedding, not the crowd – most wedding that go for crowd pleaser factors are time bombs

ALL OPINIONS BY Dorothy Diamond 
(though married, i think the pressures from society to 
friends and sisters is uncalled for blimmey!)

 

 

I have got bad news for men if that is the case (research has tested & accredited results that men are scared of smart women) – let me break it down to you Mr Men _  Intelligence is the new Tits and Ass – so imagine a woman with tits and ass to catch your eyes plus some intelligent juice in her brains and bloodstreams ! Scared should be the last thing on your mind!

The findings, to be published in the November edition of ‘Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin’, concluded that men find the prospect of dating intelligent women intimidating. The study carried out by researchers the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University and University of Texas, Austin, posits that men’s attraction to certain traits in women can be directly affected by how realistic a romantic prospect their potential lover is.

Stop the dulling -intelligent women are red hot blooded and will love some challenge as well – why not try challenging them rather than watch them from behind the curtains as the opportunities in your life look like a soggy written play with no protagonists! But if we have somehow grabbed the wrong end of the stick take the poll and show us that the indicators used by researchers were not all encompassing enough to give a factual evidence that men are NOT afraid of intelligent women.

Actually, I see love when Obama looks at Michelle and not fright – a smart man in the face of a smart woman, can make even a saint ogle and loathe!!

Get voting lets see!!

Are men threatened by intelligent women?
  • 66.67% - ( 2 votes )
  • 0% - ( 0 votes )
  • 33.33% - ( 1 vote )

 

The fruit fly’s sperm is 20million times bigger than the sperm of a man… Another analogy on size matters.

Seriously guys a fly cannot beat you all on this one nah –  Haba… Well on a much positive note that tiny sperm turns to populate the amazing planet earth so we will let you all off on this one….

Trust me to taunt… It could have gone for ever 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Fly sperm lol… Seriously ludicrous! 😉

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Pinterest

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And Will Smith has got the nose _ our all time crush!

Haba!!! where all my African gorgeous chocolate brothers please queue up and let’s be measuring tinZ…  News is Big Nose basically equals sexy, handsome, strong, rich, and all the positive things that come with attractiveness, who knew _ I have seen and heard people worry about the size of their nose and having nose reductions, well there is something coming with this trend people look out for men increasing their nose _ In the mean time you have it flaunt it, well on the flip side we are wondering if the size of the nose is not a Pinocchio effect  😛  😈

Here are the reasons then why you should date/ Marry a Nosy Man 

#1. He Has More Muscle

My, what a big nose you have! Well, a recent study revealed it’s so that they can support you better, my dear. Turns out, guys have bigger noses than ladies because they need more oxygen to maintain their muscly bods. Yep, you can thank that honker for his six-pack and killer biceps. Take all the oxygen you want, boys.

Diamond thinks _ OMG! I can see why some of them just go on for everrrrrrrrrrrr! More Oxygen please!

#2. He’s Thought To Be Wise and Powerful

What do Adrien Brody, Marlon Brando and Bradley Cooper all have in common? Well, according to Egyptian priests, had they known of these big-nosed hunks, they’d be considered incredibly intelligent. In Greek and Roman times, a big, long nose also meant power and strength. Win, win, win.

Diamond thinks _ Intelligent men are always welcomed! always , nothing beats a man who can talk some sense into ME, like in Into me! hahahahah 😛

#3. He Has Better Luck With Money

Smack in the center of his face, the nose is the money spot — literally. According to Chinese face reading, also known as physiognomy, a person with a big nose has better luck with money. And, this large-nosed fella can expect an increase in riches as they get older.

And, it’s not just physiognomy that associates big noses with a big wallet. Experts in the UK looked at the features of the most successful people and came up with the ideal facial model for those destined for business success: men with a Roman nose, along with wide set eyes and flared nostrils. Wealth certainly isn’t everything, but in any area of life, it certainly doesn’t hurt to be lucky.

Diamond thinks _ Anyone see why Kimora Lee is pregnant again? well a hedge fund banker kind of man , with a hedge fund can hedge anything in the world – you don’t even need a card , you can just use his names at the till and your 5million shopping is put through! “Enter your card and Pin ma’am” and you just go ‘Mark Zukerberg’!! how amazing is that!

#4. He Won’t Get You Sick

And during flu season, that’s pretty hard to come by. It turns out, a big schnoz protects against bacteria, allergies and infections better. According to a study from the University of Iowa, people with big noses inhale almost 7 percent fewer pollutants than smaller ones. Who knew your boyfriend could be your best barrier against the sniffles?

Diamond thinks _  😛  😛  😛  so big nose is an option for flu vaccine!

#5. He Has A Strong Sex Drive

While there’s no proof that a big nose means a big package, big noses are linked to high testosterone and virility, according to research published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour. Manliness and a strong sex drive? Yes, please.

Diamond thinks _ Let’s just say we didn’t know this one, please explain to us a little bit more _ as in he inhales and exhales freakiness? na wah _ only nose so? 😆

#6. Because Diane Keaton Says So!

And, if you’ve ever wanted to be Annie Hall, listen up. The actress says it’s what stuck out when she first met former boyfriend Al Pacino on the set of “The Godfather.” Keaton writes in her memoir “Then Again,” “I remember his killer Roman nose sitting in the middle of what remains a remarkable face. It was too bad he wasn’t available, but neither was I.” And ladies, you’ve seen Pacino in the trilogy, right? DREAMBOAT.

Diamond thinks _ Yeah even I love Al~Pachino just wish he was a little taller _ but boy what has height got to do when two people get into bed – height doesnt matter! les courte feme aime les hommes giant, and vice versa !

This article originally appeared on YourTango as “Bigger is Better: 6 Reasons To Date A Guy With A Big Nose.”

 
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Business Insider researchers surveyed 200+ men for reasons why men cheat, we definitely will not be taking this results as a true representation of all men as it’s not completely representative of the world, the huge male population we know and are aware of their shenanigans as though it was a ritual.

Women are not exempted but because we are focusing more on Men _ we will stick to tearing down/annihilating  their reasons through and through…

  1. MONOGAMY ~ Since the days of ancient Mesopotamia and in the biblical days men were renown for adultery. The last time we checked, cheating is not hereditary, we know men whose dads were saints or vice Versa but dog see dog do  is very common with cheating so don’t blame Mesopotamia or be copying anyone in the old testament or we may be cutting off your hair like Samson ! Just stop the justifications because we knew women who were taken by other men in the bible and their husbands couldn’t  raise a finger – religion made it so! (though some sisters still fall for fake pastors visions _ story for another day!)

 

  1. 48% of men pled Emotional dissatisfaction in the cheat court ~ this is so true! the fact is women too are emotionally dissatisfied but all they need to do is look into the mirror, go to a salon do their hair nails and buy a dress (sexy one) and that’s the trick that pumps their ego back up, because women also get desperate for emotional pampering and sincerely don’t run out there looking for it in other men (though sometimes we look the cash!! ouch!) Praise and admiration is a woman’s thing ( but we cannot eat praise nah massa!). So Mr MEN wear your big girl blouses and stop mopping _ give praises and get it back that is the trick! you are a mirror reflection of you partner or spouse, start pampering and praising her and you will walk into a house lined with rose petals and candles~ trust me.

 

  1. Physical attraction 88% agree that they cheated with women less attractive than their partners! Ahhhhhhh that’s not news, thanks for admitting, but truth is sometimes men get it wrong but those who get it right actually hit the nail on the head and that is when separation is imminent when the sidekick is a full package (wahala de oh, die de big house!). But come to think of it , whoever said women don’t like attractive men?  it’s such a pain if a man can wear a tracksuit and a vest, abs intact and a bulge in the front there, you know where, stop thinking, that man can stop women’s traffic even in a born again church ahemmm ahemmm, men are banned from wearing these things purlizzzzzzz..just stick to wearing ganduras and agbahdas… Thanks
somtinz!!!!!

somtinz!!!!!

 

  1. Enablers Enablers Enablers ~ worry about a man who has friends or brothers who cheat, read my lips, oh sorry this is a keyboard so read the words _ ‘Fii~YEH’ = ‘FEAR’. That’s all they need, someone who does it and discusses how sweet the bad apple taste , how the new girl did this and that and that – men always fall hard for the first cheat, it’s not about what the girl does, it’s more about justifying their behaviour, so they may even tell you the new girl has three breast – that’s what their eyes sees, and then their minds choose to justify their actions, everything in a new girl is double – even the ugly face becomes the face of an angel –

OFFICIALLY OUR EARS HAVE SUFFERED ~ MEN SHA GET YOUR ACTS TOGETHER FOR ALL THE REASONS STATED ABOVE ~ WOMEN TOO HAVE ENOUGH JUSTIFICATIONS ~ WHY RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD FOR , LOVE SHOULD NOT BE HARD WORK IT SHOULD BE A PURFECTESCAPE !

XOXO DorothyDiamond

XOXO
DorothyDiamond

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WATCH THE STATS BREAKDOWN
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A man cheats on his wife until she is broken, finds herself through the witty advice of another woman and decides to be sexy again just to get back at him.

The moment he sees her on the street in a mini skirt he starts chasing her about like a fly chasing poo _ seriously what did he just notice, that he hadn’t for months ???

Do men get temporary blindness in every relationship – some realise their mistakes others don’t and end up in a vicious circle.

Let’s hear your take on what happens when a man regurgitates and turns around to feed on it?

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Do men have temporary spousal blindness
  • 50% - ( 1 vote )
  • 0% - ( 0 votes )
  • 50% - ( 1 vote )

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WHEN MEN CRY

MEN CRY

Pic Credit – Pinterest

Deconstruct life piece by piece
From the core essence of creation
When power was bestowed upon a HE
To lead and to rule
To be the head and not the tail
To be man
Called man
Ah! when a man leads his family and his world
No matter how small – a man, a warrior to his followers
‘Who said a prophet is not known in his home?’
I dare you to challenge a man in his territory
Utter annihilation – Yet deprecated rage is all they are left with
Uncomparable tenure and strength – in the face of iron curtains
Man oh Man!
Today men flee
They can no longer be men as designed by the creator
Men take their families into the jaws of death
Men are helpless in the face of wars
Men are helpless in the face of political laws
Men beg for bread – Men grow more beards
Men lose their identity
Men’s children have no identity
Men deconstructed – Men fractured
Men no longer men
SO MEN CRY
In front of their families, those they are meant to protect
They hopelessly wait – For a free passage or death
THEY wait and CRY!

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Who is addicted to Bella Niaja’s ”Isio knows Best” write up’s ? WE WE WE … Read the lastest that caught our huge appetite for all things women and why we should be ourselves regardless!!

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I noticed off the bat that something was wrong with Caroline when I met her at her house.

First of all, we were supposed to go out for lunch when she called me that morning to cancel unexpectedly. She wasn’t up to leaving the house- and asked if I could come over instead? I had no problems with that. I brought the ingredients to cook jollof rice and beamed my “hellooooo” when she opened the door.

Almost immediately, I noticed something was different with her. She was… walking funny, and when she tried to sit down, she angled her hips so that she landed on the chair with the side of her bum.

“Caroline, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” I asked her.

She winced as she got up. She couldn’t even walk straight to and from the kitchen.

“Why are you walking like that?” I questioned her, chuckling.

Mehnnn, Isio, na wa o. If I tell you what happened to me eh, I don’t even know whether to laugh or cry. The whole thing just tayah me sef!”

And so she told me why she was walking like she had a mermaid-tail between her thighs; why she had had to cancel our going out that day… It was so alarming, and yet so funny that (it is with her permission) I share it with you now.

Apparently, she was sore. But why was she sore? A few days ago, she and her spouse had just completed a record-breaking marathon gbenshing session. And while Oga Spartacus was descending from the heavenly heights of a roaring orgasm, he decided to ask her the question,

“Did you come, babe?”

“No” answered Caro, truthfully and bitterly. The whole thing was so marathonic,the fore-play non-existent. PLUS Oga Spartacus had taken so long to arrive that not only had her muscles gan-kpa, her legs were shaking so violently – it felt like as if their bones would dislocate from their joints any second.

I tried not to laugh. Caro winced as she shuffled in her seat as she continued. As it turned out, telling Oga Spartacus that she didn’t arrive that day was a bad idea. He became moody, which was stressful and upsetting for both of them.

Then one night he came home from an outing with the boys, and even though she already lay in bed asleep, he whispered to her about all the marvellous things he would do to her to ensure that would arrive this time. Na im bros start.He chook his whole head “there” and started revving up her engine. So determined was he to send her to heaven, he took it up a notch by jacking her (cough-cough) little lily with his teeth! He chopped the lily so teyyyyyyyy, it turned into a stone. No joke.

Just when Caro thought her life was over, Oga Spartacus lifted up the pillow she had used to cover her face to whisper, “That was just an appetizer, bay-beeeeeeee…”

Then, BAM!

He switched lanes and went to town with the finger moves like an Energizer bunny. At this point, already-sore Caro knew she had only two choices. She could either start wailing out in pain, or fake her “arrival”.

She chose to fake it.

And they lived happily ever after.

But this is not the end of this story. Well, it just happened that a few weeks later, five of us (Caro, Oga Spartacus and myself included) were chilling together when the two guys amongst us swore that no woman they had been with had ever faked it with them. We (the ladies) laughed and said they shouldn’t go there as they would never know if a woman was faking it. The men said lai-lai o, they would know. The idea that a woman, any woman had ever faked it with themwas met with fierce rejection.

They said things like…

“Maybe it’s those other guys…”

“Do I look like I don’t know how to please a woman, listen I know what a woman likes!”

“When I do-this and do-that, confirmed, she will ARRIVE sharply!”

The debate got very heated. Caro and I just looked at each other and sipped our teas jejely.

TRUTH – Bros, you kennat know. Don’t let anybody deceive you. Everything about a woman’s orgasm is fake-able. And most women (at one point or the other) have faked it, yet most men swear that they’ve ever been faked-on.

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