Tag Archives: marriage

‘Late’ is a word that is used on everything wedding related when a woman hits 30 and still single hence I used ‘Early’ in the title – truth is all sorts of myths abound but I have taken a few of them and demystified them in the most colloquial way possible – don’t fret about ultimatums and societal pressures – laugh it off with my take below

Women need to get married to be truly happy.

Sorry to burst anyone’s bubbles –  is that why dogs are so happy and wagging their tails all the time? so dogs are married? or someone just outrightly forgot the actual definition of Happy! Purlizz ! Happiness is defined as = Go fxxc yourself for even trying to give everyone a stoical definition

If you don’t get married before 30, it will be too late

Too late for who exactly – the only late thing that actually matters is where you will be when Jesus comes oh. No one should dictate your life by time or place unless they have their ID to prove that they are God – but God is not man, so take several seats dictators !

Women are better off financially if they settle down early.

I have never understood the correlation between settling down and an increase in your account – is settling down at some point meaning that you break even with life and money appears in your account? Una stop tiff

Successful women can’t also have successful marriages.

MYTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Look at Mrs OBAMA thanks !

Being married is more stable than just living together.

If living together is not working how will getting married resolve that? stop making people dig their graves please because if they jump in they’ll have to come back out and drag the sand in not us, I’m not ready for any funerals without weddings!

If you’ve slept with a lot of people, nobody will want to marry you.

hahahahhahahahhahahahhah _ ya’ll stop playing its called internship -you practice to be good at a job so if sleeping with people is something you are into –  go on but kindly use your intelligence  cos ”when a beautiful woman is not intelligent her private parts suffer” likewise if your thing is celibacy let it be your decision and stick to it

If you want kids, better be married first.

well if the skeletons waiting to get married will have breath back in them then I’ll say this can even pass for a white lie – fertility issues increase with age – not in every woman but if you find you may be vulnerable like that please seek medical opinion, freeze your eggs if you want to have kids later – kids they are your legacy – not the man! (My opinion, have them when you wake up in the morning and want them – that urge is almost always the motherhood in you calling – and guess what you will be amazinggggggg!!!!)

You’ll know you’ve met the “one” when you want to marry them.


The best way to celebrate marriage is a fancy wedding.

Never look at the size of a wedding as a measure of success – that’s a big lie and charade. After that day unfortunately, the music stops the dancing and partying stops reality kicks in and shit hits the fan – you and your partner are the wedding, not the crowd – most wedding that go for crowd pleaser factors are time bombs

ALL OPINIONS BY Dorothy Diamond 
(though married, i think the pressures from society to 
friends and sisters is uncalled for blimmey!)



A lot of women have good reasons to divorce their spouses, reasons ranging from domestic violence, infidelity, irreconcilable differences and all sorts, yet some women do it to prove a point , to be seen and heard, as part of peer pressures or with a misconception that the grass is greener on the other side – well let me break it down for you, if you love green grass (abeg) water your lawn!!! read the story of a lady who regrets her divorce but has no power over her present predicament!! don’t be her have a good reason , a really good one!



I am 32 years old. Me and my ex-hubby dated for six years, I started dating him whilst I was in grade 12, I was 19 years old. We were best of friends, I waited until he completed college and started work, my family, and his family then met, we got married and had a son. (7 years old now).

My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he can’t control me. Every time we argue, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he is controlling me I would always dare him that if you wish divorce me- I never wanted divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look a lose in his eyes.

One day I pushed him so had that for the first time he beat me and lock me out side, I went to my family, my family took him to police, every time I looked like I am being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.

He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case, I felt that what I was doing is wrong.

My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall. Of which he openly knelt down and apologized. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled.

After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone. After two days I received a call that he is in hospital, my family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it will look like am begging him, and my sisters believed he is faking the illness.

All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused. He spent a week in hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me, I called him and say he will get the divorce because I live like am in hell.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and me acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.

We got divorced in 2009 July. Now, this Saturday my husband is getting married again, whilst I am here wasted! My family are gossiping about me, I depend on what my ex-gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my marriage. I am here telling all wives to be careful how you get advice. Don’t be cheated. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to divorce are always bad mouthing me.
There is no benefit in pride!




A video posted by HipTv (@officialhiptv) on


Who on earth can be married to P-Square and get bored? all you need to do is watch him dance Alingo or make him sing you Omogemi from morning to night even employment sef you will not be interested in… Jokes aside Africans need to wake up oh , I fully support Peter Okoye – Marriage doesn’t mean turn into someone else – where is the Sass, spunk, sassy sexiness in the people who courted like dogs on heat that suddenly you can’t even be sexy for your partner????

Peter, we are with you on this one – we begin to cast and bind boring marriages into the deepest pit of hell fire – fall down and die – Amen!!



There is good reason why when things like this happen – you need to hear what others have to say – some people as judgmental as they are, find pleasure in kicking a fallen person down while others come with a little respite in the logic with caution experience and understanding-  keeping quick judgement to the curb — Omoni Oboli caught our ears on this one and it’s a fact – Marriage is sacrifice BUT above all NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT forget it !





Infidelity in a marriage is something that many people go through knowingly and unknowingly _ some speak out and learn from it, others never get over it and hence can never move on with or without their partners.

Tina Campell is one of the women whose passion for the gospel and her love for her husband and family plus being in the public eye made it hard for this news to be brushed under the carpet, we all watched her fall apart and followed her walk her way to recovery in small but steady steps with the same husband by her side – the answer, she said was God, the anger was the fact that it was someone she considered ‘a sister’ ~ eeerrrmm apart from the one you shared a placenta with ‘sisters are thirsty these days’ ! (even real sisters)

Infidelity is a killer to many marriages without a great foundation, especially when you are 100% committed to that person. It’s amazing to see and hear her open up to on Steve Harvey and watch Teddy sit next to her like Soldier Ants are in his pants_ well bros you chercha you trouva!

Well done Tina you have a fan!







Miror -ron gilad


Mirror Mirror on the wall
I look into you for answers
The face who's stolen my voice and soon to 
steal my breath
The face of the one who holds the answers 
to my predicament
I know why I cannot see my face
My body is dust and I have become wind
Yet I stand infront of you and see a silhouette
A faceless Silhouette - a feminine silhouette
The face that I cannot see but she lingers
The face who has left me in Limbo land
I beseech you for clarity
I beg of you to appease my soul
I appeal for one last chance to see the 
face behind the silhouette

Lucia had sent her maid to the market that morning hoping to make the best meal for her husband and her mother-in-law who had come into town the night before with a new maid… The kind of village local champions (Dumebi) who made herself known by her huge size, the thudding of her XXL feet and the absolutely giggle of her whole body as she walked her ass though was on another planet, it could comfortably sit 2 toddlers with no help! beseach

You could hear her walk across the lounge to the kitchen or outside the house… She was just a ball of energy – to ignore – Loud, brash and uncouth and she smelled of kitchen spices mixed with body sweat and a little feminine thing which made her very powerful presence nothing to ignore even if you tried.  Because she was linked to the mother-in- law, she was important, a very important ally, so Lucia made it a point to pay attention to her.

She had always said to her mother-in-law that Agatha her present maid was a good maid who had lived with them for so long and she found no good cause or reason for a dismissal – but the old lady always insisted on a hard working girl from her village who will cook the kind of food her son loved eating and look after the house while Lucia worked in her boutique in the town centre or travelled around Dubai stocking her boutiques with gold jewelries and latest home decors, which made sense, but the sarcasm and the innuendo in her voice made Lucia apprehensive _ very !

Her mother-in-law’s countenance betrayed some sort of subversive  secret she could barely put her finger on. Though she had lost a pregnancy earlier in her marriage, It had become impossible to  conceive and bear a child for over 7 years _An issue that has always been the white elephant in her mother-in-law presence … She barely talked about it with Lucia, but Lucia had eavesdropped a couple of confrontational moments between her and her son along the lines of -;



She talks about so many things – MOST LISTED BELOW

  1. Nigerians/Cameroonians are raised to be ashamed of sex and talking about sex: We’re raised to think that, ‘sex should only be with your rightful partner’ etc.
  2. The fact is people will have sex regardless of marital status.
    People are so ashamed of sex that they can’t call the ‘organs’ by the rightful names. So people say words and phrases like ‘his thing’, ‘her snail’, kpekus, prick etc.
  3. Toke thinks it’s not every relationship you should have sex in.
    She says women especially should be careful that they’re not having sex for the wrong reasons. “If he’s not taking you seriously before the sex, then he won’t after the sex.”

TOKE you always tok sense ~!! and I will never ever find a verbal double like you – you are an absolute PURFECT ~ESCAPISTS – a soul sister for real!




Just incase we didn’t understand #purfectescape will breakdown these reasons why the Indian legal system rulled are valid to file for divorce… The reason are so random they will leave you slouching with pain from laughter, let’s do this


1)  Your husband shouts Chai more than once when you ignore his guests… You need to sit in when the boys are watching the match,  burping, speaking incoherently and scratching their balls… You just need to be there or… Divorce


2) It’s a complete no no to develope pimples… Especially when you didn’t have them before the wedding… One pimple equals first warning… So remain Purfect.


3)  Never over dress when going out or staying in… Just don’t over dress full stop… Men can’t stand other men eyeing their women…


4) A little shocking but true… Men don’t want to be sex slaves… That’s why women were the highest readers of FSOG… You get it right…


5)  An excessive partying  and friendship lifestyle is prohibited in certain marraiges…what century is this again…

Hopefully these laws apply only to India and nowhere else… Because women and wives these days have all the above plus social media… Can life get any harder???